Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Pain

I suffer from chronic pain. I have for years, and on the pain scale of 1-10, it never gets below 7 without medication. I say this to state the following:

Physical pain cannot compare to the pain one suffers at the hands of others. This pain can be physically or emotionally scarring. I have been hurt many times in my life, from my father leaving when I was young, to the abuse I suffered in middle school and friends/boyfriends breaking my heart.

I am still dealing with the aftereffects of these pains. Aren't we all? I am letting it go day to day, and it is definitely easier now than ever before.

The stronger I get, the more I can let go of the anger, hate and pain.

I am past the "trying" phase of forgiveness and have moved on the the "working" on it.

I have made some unpopular decisions, some that may hurt those I love, but that are necessary for me to survive and fully recover. I have decided to no longer allow people that have continuously hurt me, and have shown that they will never really seek true atonement to be a part of my life. They have forfeited the right to know me and rejoice in my recovery. They have made decisions that have impacted the people that are in their lives, and that includes me.

I will no longer allow others to control how I live my life out. I am in control, and am going to make my own path to healthy living! I choose who is in my life and the extent that they are involved in it.

2 comments:

  1. My mom used to say that forgiving someone does not mean that you trust them or let them hurt you over and over again.

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  2. Very true, it just releases you from the pain and anger.

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