Thursday, July 21, 2011


"As I walk this land of broken dreams,
I have visions of many things.
Love's happiness is just an illusion,
Filled with sadness and confusion. 
What becomes of the broken-hearted
Who had love that's now departed?
I know I've got to find
Some kind of peace of mind."
~Jimmy Ruffin, "What Becomes of the Broken-Hearted"

This song gets stuck in my head sometimes. And I think it is because I used to believe it. "...happiness is just an illusion." I didn't really understand true happiness, because I was so used to pretending to be happy. That mask became such a part of me that I couldn't tell what was real and what was an act. 

These days, I have found true happiness, true JOY! It is really weird, at 39 years of age, and after 18 years of marriage, I finally get it. I have found joy inside of me and in the relationships that I have developed.  I am not reliant on any person for that happiness/joy, but they surely have helped me to experience it in abundance.