Name Your Eating Disorder

Choosing an identity for your eating disorder and giving it a name may seem foolish, but it can help you take back some of the power that you have lost. You will be able to fight back against a presence that has become a part of you. 


I chose the name Edith for my eating disorder because the standard names didn't work for me, Ana (Anorexia Nervosa) or Mia (Bulimia). My eating disorder has been diagnosed as Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified. I also needed it to be specific to me, I felt that only I understood the hold it had over me personally. We each have similar battles, but each person and their disease is different.  


Edith has been in my life for over 20 years. She would show up every now and then from the time I was about 14, and then when I was about 24 she came to live with me on a more permanent basis. She started to take over every part of my life, with my kids, my husband, my extended family and my friends. When they looked at me, they saw her. I was a shell that she took over. Every decision was filtered through her, and I lost out on a lot of wonderful things because I didn't want others to know about her. 


My one driving thought during these turbulent years was to keep Edith to myself. I knew that if others found out about her, they would make her go away. Somewhere deep inside of me I knew that she wasn't good for me, but I couldn't let her go. 


I chose to name Edith in my first hospitalization for my disease. It was a very freeing experience, as I finally had an enemy to fight. I knew that if I wanted my life back, she had to go.

2 comments:

  1. Missing you... Hope you are feeling better... Can't wait to see another blog! I love you Uncle Rachel!!

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  2. i have bpd (borderline personality disorder) and a lot of other issues that fall under this including depression, and stress about eating to much. that may or may not be anorexia im not sure because i havent really talked about it with my psychiatrist.
    its not a main problem for me so i dont bring it up as much.

    that aside, i never really knew other people named their disorders. i named mine (all of them as one) Marshall.
    i though i was odd because i would talk about him as if he was a real person.

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