Thursday, July 21, 2011


"As I walk this land of broken dreams,
I have visions of many things.
Love's happiness is just an illusion,
Filled with sadness and confusion. 
What becomes of the broken-hearted
Who had love that's now departed?
I know I've got to find
Some kind of peace of mind."
~Jimmy Ruffin, "What Becomes of the Broken-Hearted"

This song gets stuck in my head sometimes. And I think it is because I used to believe it. "...happiness is just an illusion." I didn't really understand true happiness, because I was so used to pretending to be happy. That mask became such a part of me that I couldn't tell what was real and what was an act. 

These days, I have found true happiness, true JOY! It is really weird, at 39 years of age, and after 18 years of marriage, I finally get it. I have found joy inside of me and in the relationships that I have developed.  I am not reliant on any person for that happiness/joy, but they surely have helped me to experience it in abundance.


  1. Really the pic shows a real happiness on the face of this child....

    Smith Alan

  2. I know what you mean about happiness.
    For so long, i was jsut telling myself - im happy. i love my life. But in reality. I hated it. I did so much to try to end my life.

    Its only now, after so long. I actually remember and realise, what true happiness is.

    And that to be able to live my life, with not os much thought about food. About my body.
    To just be a normal girl!!!

    How are things going with you? (Sorry, found this blog through a link. Hope you dont mind me commenting?)

    - izzi

  3. I love the comments! I have not posted in awhile, because I have just been busy with my family. I am hoping to start again. Feel free to come back often!