Wednesday, May 26, 2010


I am facing surgery tomorrow. I am scared, no, make that terrified.

I have had a few surgeries in my day, but for some reason this one seems more intimidating. It is probably because it is on my foot and means that I will have a very long recovery.

This also means I will have to rely on others for the next 2 months to drive me where I need to go and to help me with basic things that I like to do for myself. My family and my friends will step up and other than the two teenagers, I know they will do it gladly.

I know that when I hear that someone needs help, I so want to help them. I am offended when they do not ask, or tell me they are fine when I ask. I would love to just vacuum for them, or bring them a meal, or pick up a prescription for them. When I find out later that they did need help but didn't want to "burden" me, I am upset.

Knowing this, I still cringe every time I have to call someone to help me. I try to give them an out even before I ask. I minimize my needs and try to make them feel comfortable. I also feel terribly guilty if they are busy and that I even asked.

I am going to change this way of thinking. If I need something, I will ask those that care about me. If they are busy, I will just ask someone else and not take it personally. I will plan ahead so that I have options.

We are given people in our lives to be there for each other. I would gladly do for them as they would for me.

Affirmation: I will ask for what I need.


  1. Call me or email me at any time. I will answer with a smile. I too struggle to ask for help, but is has to do more with pride and trust than anything else. Pride because as women we want to tell the world ALL the time that "we got it", and trust because in not allowing others to help with our needs we are telling them we do not trust that they love us enough to care for us.

    I had my first surgery when I was 22. I was terrified, because being OUT meant I was not in control. I was nervous like I have never been before, I soothed myself by singing songs, it annoyed the heck out of the other patients but it helped me.

    You are sheltered/hidden in the palm of HIS that he loves you enough to care for you through the natural/human and very real love of those around you. Even the strangers in the OR... :-)

  2. Thanks Teresita. You expressed my feelings very well! I am trusting He will provide, one way or another. I know that He puts special people in our lives for a reason, and I am glad He put YOU in mine!