Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Today is a new day

I have not been writing lately and to be honest it is because I have been struggling to maintain my recovery. I had some setbacks in my health and was derailed with negative thoughts. I didn't want to blog about it, I didn't want to let anyone down. I ran away from my thoughts and I have been hiding out a lot. I have also run back to my first food! Wow! Feels good for a minute and then WHAM...GUILT! I have decided that writing it all down and trying to remain focused on recovery is the only way to go. This entry is "stream of consciousness," today and I am just letting it roll out of my thoughts and through my fingers! Everyone has setbacks in their journey through recovery. I am not alone and that feels good, even if it is kind of sad. I wish there was some magic spell or pill that would suddenly make me want to eat right, exercise correctly, take my medicine regularly and love the body I am in. Today is a good day, I am determined to get over the sadness and the regret and the guilt and the negativity. If you have a strategy for defeating the duldrums...leave a comment here on the blog. Let's make this a place of healing and support! I believe we, the survivors, can win this war if we fight the battles together!

1 comment:

  1. Rachel,
    One of my oldest friends!! I feel your pain. It has taken me 38 years to love who I am and the body I am in. I struggle everyday with my obesity. I weight 220lbs! But I have to realize that no matter God loves me. You have to love you!! No one is perfect...and no matter what baby, God loves you! It seems a life time since we were little girls, with no cares in the world. Now we are women, mothers and the weight of the world is on our shoulders.
    Take a deep breath and remember, you are beautiful, you always have been! I always thought so, and if I thought so, that means a lot people think so now!!
    Love you Rachel...keep your head up and keep living!!!