Monday, November 8, 2010

Facing the Holidays

For some reason Autumn is a hard time for me. I think it is because I put too much pressure on myself to make all of the holidays that are coming up so special.

I love getting ready for Halloween, picking out costumes, decorating and getting enough candy to pass out to the little ones. I think I am trying to prove that I am a perfect hostess. I want kids and parents to think that I have the best candy. I have constantly been searching for approval from outside of myself.

This leads to Thanksgiving. This time I want to cook food that everyone will rave about. I want them to think I have the best rolls, pies, turkey, etc. I need them to say that I am worthy.

Finally, Christmas. I start decorating on Black Friday and my whole house gets transformed. I light candles that smell like cinnamon and pine needles. I cover the tree with lights and beautiful decorations. I pick out the perfect gifts for those I love. Again, I love to do this, but I am seeking approval again.

I want to simplify things this year. I will only do what makes me happy, and will give my family joy. I do not need praise from others, for I will take joy in a job well done.

2 comments:

  1. I used to do this as well then I noticed that my house only felt like a home during the holidays...that made me sad...first, I had to challenge myself to extend a portion of that celebratory energy for the rest of the year for the sake of my home and second, the first Christmas after that I turned the Holiday from celebrations to Holydays of reflection. I took it down to ceroo...no tree, no lights, no special dinners, I wanted to recapture the essence of the season. It was radical but it worked...I also learned that the spirit of giving is the same as that of the servand leader; when we pour ourselves to others it's only satisfactory to self when your own needs are put aside. It was the best Holiday season eva'!

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  2. I like the idea of "HOLY"days. Taking the emphasis off me and on the one that came to save me, is really what I want to do.

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