Monday, July 12, 2010


I have tried to teach my children about the value of a good reputation.

One way to maintain that good reputation is to always be honest. Making sure that people can believe what you say, and know that you will always be straight with them is important. Once you have lied to someone, they are less likely to believe what you say the next time.

This is a hard thing to teach children, as there is such a desire to please others and to stay out of trouble that lying comes easily. I know that when I first caught Heath in a lie as a toddler I was so hurt by it, I thought that I had done something wrong as a mother since I was his primary caregiver. I found out that it was natural, but I didn't like it.

As they have grown it has become a constant battle. You ask them about something that you know they did, they don't want to get in trouble, so they lie to cover their tracks. They get punished and you think they have learned the lesson, until next time.

I believe that honesty is the best policy. I want my word to be my bond and that people know that when I tell them something I am speaking from the heart with all honesty.


I have an eating disorder and part of the pattern is deceit. I had to lie to cover it up from those that loved me. I had to lie to myself to make myself believe that it was okay and under control. I had to lie to doctors so that they wouldn't find it out and tell those I loved. I had to lie to keep Edith close.

Because of this, my friends and family have trouble believing me when I tell them I am okay. They often look for the hidden meaning under my words. If I protest too much, they think I am lying. If I am overly calm about something, they think I am lying. My reputation has been ruined by Edith, and I let her do it.

I hope that someday my friends and family can trust me again. I hope that one day they will know that what I say I mean, and what I say is true.

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