I am actually starting to love my life again. I can now do what I want without having to ask someone else's opinion. I can choose to spend the day in my pajamas or save the dishes for tomorrow without feeling like I am letting someone down. (not that he was saying it, I was the one feeling it)
I have wanted to go back to Ohio to visit my family, and because he had another commitment, I had to miss a trip last year. Not this year, I am going back to a camp reunion and to see my mom, sister and brothers.
It is time for him to live the life he has always wanted, and for me to do so as well.
Our marriage produced two beautiful children and a friendship that I think will last a lifetime. It won't be the same, but I know that if I were in trouble, he would be there. There is no reason for us to fight, because we are both "moving on."
I have known about my wife's eating disorder since August 2010. Since then I have had many thoughts of giving up, but the way I look at it is that there are two of us with an eating disorder and all that that brings with it. Every day negative thoughts have to be fought and hopefully fighting together will make it a little easier for her. I know she finds it hard to tell me everything and for a long time she kept it hidden from me, although she did tell a couple of close friends, I was kept in the dark to protect me. All I can say is if you have any kind of problem PLEASE TALK about it with your partner. Don't block them out because you will loose them.
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to you Rachel, I hope that you and your husband can remain friends. My wife is the best friend I have and this thing she has will never take that away. I put her onto your blog a while ago and I think it has helped her understand things a little better so for that, I would like to thank you. You are doing a good thing here and you are making a difference x
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