Like I had been knocked down, face first in the mud and I was being run over by untold number of feet. I didn't want to get out of bed, I didn't want to do anything. I just wanted to hide away.
It's been a long time since I have felt this discouraged, this defeated. I didn't want to fight it, I wanted to curl up inside of it.
I didn't. I got up, I took my son to school. I washed dishes, and did some laundry. I did some prep work for dinner tonight and I sat outside soaking up the sun for a bit. I took a bath, did my hair and makeup and even put on a dress and sandals. I went to the doctor and Flory (the nurse) said, "you have a hot date or somethin'? You look GREAT!" I smiled and said, "nope, just felt like crap today and decided if I couldn't feel good inside, I would look good on the outside. Fake it 'til you make it!" She smiled as she left the room.
This of course made me stop and think. I did feel better. I thought I looked pretty darn good, and I got even more confirmation of that fact from Rosia (the receptionist) as I left.
Sometimes we do need to put on that smile and muscle through the "mud" in our lives. Get up, wipe it off and soldier on. No one ever said the road to recovery was easy, but I think it is much easier with a little bit of makeup and a nice smile.
Excuse me while I brush out the last bit of mud from my hair, I am feeling pretty darn good right about now!
Glad you are feeling good. I know this feeling. I have felt this way for weeks. And you are right, the road to recovery isn't easy. I think of it as an adventure that has good moments and not so good ones.
ReplyDeleteYou are very right. It is a comfort to know I am not alone!
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