I love getting ready for Halloween, picking out costumes, decorating and getting enough candy to pass out to the little ones. I think I am trying to prove that I am a perfect hostess. I want kids and parents to think that I have the best candy. I have constantly been searching for approval from outside of myself.
This leads to Thanksgiving. This time I want to cook food that everyone will rave about. I want them to think I have the best rolls, pies, turkey, etc. I need them to say that I am worthy.
Finally, Christmas. I start decorating on Black Friday and my whole house gets transformed. I light candles that smell like cinnamon and pine needles. I cover the tree with lights and beautiful decorations. I pick out the perfect gifts for those I love. Again, I love to do this, but I am seeking approval again.
I want to simplify things this year. I will only do what makes me happy, and will give my family joy. I do not need praise from others, for I will take joy in a job well done.
I used to do this as well then I noticed that my house only felt like a home during the holidays...that made me sad...first, I had to challenge myself to extend a portion of that celebratory energy for the rest of the year for the sake of my home and second, the first Christmas after that I turned the Holiday from celebrations to Holydays of reflection. I took it down to ceroo...no tree, no lights, no special dinners, I wanted to recapture the essence of the season. It was radical but it worked...I also learned that the spirit of giving is the same as that of the servand leader; when we pour ourselves to others it's only satisfactory to self when your own needs are put aside. It was the best Holiday season eva'!
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of "HOLY"days. Taking the emphasis off me and on the one that came to save me, is really what I want to do.
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