Breaking the Rules

I am learning to let go of the rules I put in my head for the way I think things should go.

I have always placed arbitrary rules on my life that I thought would make it easier. They have not. It is hard for me to be spontaneous, I like to plan. There were days when my kids were younger that my husband would come home from work and say "Let's go out!" He would want to take me to my favorite restaurant, and I didn't want to go because I had hot dogs and macaroni and cheese planned. It was not that I loved that meal more, it was just the fact that I had plans.

I missed out on a lot of opportunities in my lifetime because I "couldn't, shouldn't, wouldn't" try new things. I call this "shoulding on myself." I may have heard that in treatment, but I have adopted the phrase.

I am determined to not let this pattern continue.

Rules are made to be broken, right?