Contemplation

I am sitting in a Panera Bread typing this blog. It is actually one of my favorite restaurants in terms of "fast food." I like the cleanliness, the fresh food AND the free WiFi!

Wow, how life has changed since I became an adult. I came of age in a time where the internet was out there, but no one I knew had it. To be honest, I only had used computers at school and work, I didn't have any friends that had a personal computer. We all were excited to get electric typewriters for graduation to type our term papers on in college.

Now, there are very few homes that do not have at least ONE computer. At our house, we currently have 3, and Heath has one that he uses at his school (although, he is not overly impressed with it).

To think of all of the changes that technology has brought over the past 20 years is amazing! HDTV, WiFi, laptops, improved 3D, video games that are extremely realistic, including my family's new favorite, Nintendo 3DS! That thing is AMAZING! So many more that I can't even think of them all.

All of these changes are great, but what is even greater are the changes within myself. I am no longer that frightened girl that was afraid to not be "on" all of the time. The girl that couldn't let anyone all the way in for fear that she would be crushed if she did. I am no longer hiding a deep dark secret about my eating disorder, and my true hatred of myself.

I have grown into a strong, capable, proud, and dare I say it, beautiful woman. I am confident in who I am, what I want, and what I need to live a full life. I am willing to let love in completely, to open myself up to new people and possibilities.

Oh, I wish I had been this confident as a girl. I wish I knew then, what I know now. To be honest though, I would not be as confident and knowledgeable without all of my struggles.

Today I embrace my past as I look forward to my future. I go into the great unknown with so much anticipation and faith!!